but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i think my cat just said my name.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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