I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
