i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
