i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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