Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
no, he came in my armpit
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
