went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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