so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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