Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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