I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
