How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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