3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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