Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
