I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
