I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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