My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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