I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
