I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
