It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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