I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
