i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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