you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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