we have officially lost it.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
