in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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