would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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