i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
