We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
