fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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