i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
where are my eyebrows?
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