At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
