If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
