it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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