Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
