hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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