What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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