Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
