Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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