Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
