sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
