I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
