I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
