Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
