i think my mom watched the whole time
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
