kristin has been a bad kristin
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Still dying that you shit outside
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
