i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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