thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize