YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
