It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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