i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
