I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
