that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
