you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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