Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
