so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
