if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
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I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
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I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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