after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
