Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
