doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
