Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
