there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
