Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
