I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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