I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
