Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
