I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
