I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
