If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
